Saturday, December 25th, 2004
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1:26 am - christmas xo
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well its christmas.. heh. all i want is to be with brittany. but i cant have it yet.. heh its okay though.. ill have her soon enough. its so early right now. i couldnt really sleep. well.. i went to bed real early / woke up real early. im at a loss of thought really... heh. im talking to sydney. shes up.. so are alot of people.. but they arent responding. anywho thats really all i have to say right now. i miss britt!!! i love her to death!!!
current mood:  awake
current music: none - no one
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Friday, December 24th, 2004
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3:23 pm - i miss britt :P
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i am at my aunt and uncle's house right now missing my brittany so much. i love her to death. i really want to spend the rest of my life with this girl everyone! and she feels the same for me. im so happy ive found her. i love her so much. well im just chillin in this room by myself avoiding billy my uncles friend. he scares me. heh. he gets all up in my grill. hahaha. anyways i fucking love you brittany!! i miss you and i cant wait to see you. things are going to be perfect.
current mood:  sick
current music: none - no one
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Thursday, December 23rd, 2004
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8:27 pm - ♥break it
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what a day.. spent the whole day cleaning and stuff. talked to britt too. ♥ we kinda had some not so great times today.. then we had a great time as well.. and i just feel closer to her because of it.. i ♥ her so much more than you could ever imagine. hehe. we talked dirty to eachother online.. hehe that was fun. ♥♥♥ x infinity.. right now i am really tired.. i want the downstairs tv. i dont know if i will get it though. hmm. i wonder if katy is gone now.. i think i will go check because im sick of being in my room right now. well thats about all that happened today. christmas is really soon.
current mood: okay
current music: mae - embers and envelopes
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8:20 am - worry
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brittany is at a nutritionist right now.. im really worried about her health.. as i am worried about my own. i pray to god to help her see she should take care of herself. i wish she would take care of herself so bad.. i dont know if she wants to. i would take care of her if i could.. but i cant. i love her so much.. i just cant wait to see her.
we are putting together that new desk soon. so ill be offline for awhile. but everyones asleep at this hour so i dont think it matters. heh. goodbye everyone :P
current mood:  worried
current music: deftones - lovers
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Wednesday, December 22nd, 2004
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7:46 pm - ♥
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well i told britt that i had liked someone.. only to realize.. that i really dont like them that much at all. i think partially.. i was just looking for a way out of going to pennsylvania because i am so scared. im scared of how close i could get and how hurt i could get one day. im not saying that for sure thats happening. but its always a possibility. in anyones relationship its there is a possibility of someone getting hurt. but i realize also that brittany is just as scared. and i am not going to let fear control my life. i am going on this trip. i am meeting brittany. i am telling her to her face how much i love her. and im making out with her right then and there! lol. hopefully ;) if i dont get all pussy. but i really respect my friends for all of their help through all of this and all of their opinions. and im really sorry if what i do goes against what you think and believe. im either learning by making mistakes.. or i am making the right decisions based on what i feel. once again im sorry if this makes anyone upset. i love all my friends and i hope they love me too.. even though i cant seem to become stable.. anyways on a lighter note.. i got a new desk for christmas.. my old one is way too big and shitty. so i got this new one which is not. okay.. i have to sleep downstairs because theres so much shit on my bed from the old desk.. no place else to put it. and its really cold tonight. haha. oh well. goodnight ♥
current mood:  exhausted
current music: 311 - amber
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11:56 am - doctors visit / shitty feeling..
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i went to the doctor and i am now on accutane. hurray. im also on a cholesterol lowering medication because my cholesterol and something else that isnt supposed to be high is through the roof. so basically im falling apart and its not too fun. but things will be okay. right now im scared. scared to say things i feel to someone very close to me. im afraid it will either hurt them or turn them against me.. but i think i owe it to them to tell them the truth..
current mood:  depressed
current music: korn - bbk
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12:38 am - new journal again..
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well hey everyone i got a new journal again because im bored and well the other one lost some of its meaning to me.. id just like to tell kristi that im really sorry about what i did.. you are one of my best friends and i didnt mean to hurt you and i think thats what i did.. im sorry for that. well i hope everyone likes this journal better than the last. i love you guys.
<3 stevie
current mood:  annoyed
current music: korn - 4U
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